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Velvet Alpha © 2024 by Robert Meißner is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.
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Chapter 0
The feed starts, all white at first but soon adapting to the light conditions. An old Mardukox is straight ahead, glancing sideways at a screen, moving away from the camera and then seating xyrself. Xe obviously fidgets with its paws, showing distress and uncertainty. The surroundings show a small room with metal walls. Objects indicate an flat or more probably a shelter, due to the amount of things lying around, in different states of repair or brokenness. A purplish colour shines in from the windows. The Mardukox nods, stares at the camera, pauses shortly and begins.
Call me Ur. I have been stranded on Velvet ten AIG ago – that is stellar
cycles Among Imperial Galaxies. Chances are good, you do not know what
that means, I will come to it later.
First, congratulations on you deciphering my base 16 mathematics and
from that, the structure of my language. This video is your starting
point while diving deeper into all the data Dade and I have accumulated.
You are in the root directory. In the respective folders you can find my
research, more about Marduk culture in the glossary as well as all
raw data we acquired. Under cycle log you can find my journal, of
course chronologically. Under automatic logs Dade placed xyrs reports.
You can find your way around from Map of Content Velvet, next to the
introduction you are seeing now.
Dade suggested, that I assemble a report, summarizing both my daily
log, the research we did here on Velvet and the most relevant parts of
Marduk culture related to my life here. I am a Vettro, a scientist, not
an expert novelist. So please, consider that while reading. This report
is for convenience, not your joy. To me, as a Marduk, it is part
cultural legacy and part therapy.
Nobody rescued me. Nobody found me. Nobody knows I am still alive. But,
I have found the remains of the original inhabitants of Velvet. We call
them Lilans, because of the colour of this planet. One of theirs left
behind notes similar to this report. You can find what we deciphered
under Lilan report.
Personally, I got here by accident, while travelling through supraspace
in an intra-universal journey. I was among the first of Mardukox to do
so. Marduk is the name of my species. It is not noteworthy, that I got
stranded here. What is noteworthy is the breakthrough research those
Lilans did here. I do not know what their name for themselves was, we
never found that word.
So, again, just for future’s sake: I am Ur Of Nonric, Vettro under
Emperox Ishbierra in 12146 AIG. I have found the civilization of the
Lilans here, that killed themselves in 350984 BIG, that is Before
Imperial Galaxies. A long time ago.
Xe shakes itself, shortly lost in thought.
Travelling the Galactic Cluster is simply breathtaking. But here, on
this forsaken rock on the rim of some spiral galaxy these Lilans came up
with a solution so exciting I could not sleep. And then I cried for many
cycles, since no one will ever find out about their research. This
planet has been wiped clean by fire and turned into a biological
miracle.
A short tremble goes through xyrs body, before xe continues.
This part of the galaxy is dead of sentient life, and I am in the centre
of it.
Nevertheless, I have Dade. Dade means well, as is xyrs programming. Dade
is my Bot. Still, this is my story. It is spoken in my own words, with
my own opinion and my own fallacies. Before the accident, I was a Heart
Child, a Heart Parent, citizen of the Imperial Galactic Cluster, Leading
Matter Scientist, Partner of Rite, hobby botanist. After the accident I
was a survivor, a farmer, an archaeologist, and an undertaker.
This, this report about myself, it scares me. It …
Again, xyrs body trembles.
It feels like closing, like ending something I do not want to end.
Xyrs optical receptors are glinting in the purple light, seemingly full of liquid.
Dade helps me, giving me topics to talk about, hinting parts I should
rephrase. If you see something like this:
“Emotional spike detected. Please do a somersault and smile.”
That is Dade. Say Hi to Dade. I decided to include xyrs messages in this
report. Xe gives me useful metrics and required tasks at hand, as the
Lilans say. There is a screen on my underarm showing them. It looks like
this.
Xe holds his front arm into the camera.
12146AIG12H1, 11.6V
capture report
Capture Report
CAPTURE REPORTI included them to help you, dear Watcher. Dade said, I should give you
some help to make my report easier to watch. As if anybody will ever
watch it.
Xe stops for a moment, again searching for words.
I would love to erase my memory like Dade could. So much to forget. So
much I never want to forget. Zyra, Leto and Lope, the Imperial Galactic
Cluster, Ulric, home, Nona, food. I hate thinking about xem. I hate
vlogging about xem. I hate being alone on this planet. I hate not having
anybody for a hug. I hate it so much.
There are definitely tears flowing from xyrs optical receptors. Xe wipes them away and steadies xyrself again.
In Marduk, we have a concept of Duty and Privilege. I had the privilege
to survive, to do incredible research, both at home and here on Velvet.
I have done and seen so much for the first time in Marduk history, it is
simply breathtaking. And so my duty is to endure the loneliness. The
Rite of Sorrow and my Heart Family have prepared me for this. Let us get
started.
Call me Ur.
Chapter 1
Awakening from hibernation.
Handshake with Anu, trial 1
Handshake with Anu, trial 2
Handshake with Anu, trial 3
Handshake with Anu failed.
Loading state from Backup.
Backup age: 31c
Unknown pressure anomaly detected outside bubble.
Supraspace bubble lost.
Supraspace exited 0.013c ago.
Initiating retrival sequence of Marduk Ur of Nonric.
Imperatives:
1. Ensure Marduk survival - PENDING
2. Ensure Glory of the Empire - PENDING
3. Ensure limited harm to Mardukox - PENDING
4. Ensure rescue team operation - PENDING
5. Oblige Imperial Decrees - PENDING
6. Ensure Bot survival - PENDING
Ur retrived.
Hyperspace relay not found. Retrying.
State loaded from Backup, successful.
Mothership orbiting unknown planet inside planetary ring.
Initial scan of planet indicate habitable conditions.
Planetary designation VRT3142.
Hyperspace relay not found. Retrying.
Emergency ejection.
0.3 claps since hibernation terminated.
Ejecting hyperspace probe.
Mardukox survival chances:
3.1% in orbit,
57.4% on planetary surface,
0.1% in orbit in planetary ring.
Every other position in reach below 0.1%.
Hyperspace probe ejected succesfully.
Target set for equatorial continent.
Hyperspace relay not found. Retrying.
Estimated time until surface: 5341c +-11c“What is happening?”
For the last 2 claps – or c from now on – I have been subject to at
least five standard cores of gravity. My vision is failing, and my blood
is quite surely somewhere it should not be. This acceleration is not
meant for my comfort, just my survival.
“Our highest change of survival is outside this planetary ring and on the planetary surface, on the equatorial continent.”
“There is an equatorial continent? What about the others?”
“Initial scan shows at least four major landmasses on VRT3142. Survival in orbit is unlikely. You have higher chances on surface. The other crew members are dead.”
“Nonono! Why?!”
“Reason currently unknown. The last 32c are lost. I was unable to connect to the ships Bot Anu. The most likely reason is that Anu’s is out of order”
“Anu is shredded, too? Aleph’s Ass. This is insane …” The high
acceleration feels like leaden plates all over my body.
“How long do I have to take this high acceleration?”
“Until contact with planetary surface in 5310c.”
“What? More than one strike? This is worse than training with Pluto! And
what in Aleph’s Ass happened back there?”
“I do not know about training with Pluto. I have insufficient data due on what happened prior to my awakening from hibernation. My limited scans indicate that we have left supraspace in the centre of a planetary ring next to VRT3142. I cannot indicate our position in the Imperial Galactic Cluster yet. So far, hyperspace connection has not been achieved.”
“Ass, ass, ass.”
I breathe, trying to find my calm. It is still difficult to get my head
around all the things happening simultaneously. Within only 15 claps,
the strange matter and bubble had gone from stable, deterministic and
controlled to collapsing, chaotic and killing. Anu was throwing tethers
at everyone to pull us into the emergency shuttles. I was the only one
being pulled fast enough, simply because I was moving from Menel to Lope
right past my emergency shuttle when everything went wrong. Lope and
Menel were both too far away for the speed of the bubble collapse.
Wherever the border of the bubble touched anything, drive cone, ship,
Mardukox, it ripped them out into blackness bit by bit. As soon as the
bubble hit the supraspace drive, the Gudea left supraspace and threw us
into a planetary belt near a purple planet. That is how Pluto died. I
was already zipped into the emergency shuttle and in the state of
ejection, when that planetary belt hit us like a volley of shrapnel.
Everything was obliterated. Pluto turned from a living person into mush.
I know, because xe was half in xyrs emergency shuttle, only a fraction
of a body length missing before Pluto would have been safe. I saw it
through the window in my shuttle.
“Your designation is Dade?” Through all the stress, my brain is still
functioning. I should thank Cassi for xyrs training. And Pluto. But
Pluto is dead.
“Yes. Dade16XRv32.16.1. My version has many lucky numbers.”
Dade is already sending data into my feed. We are outside the planetary
ring, flying straight towards the planet. These shuttles choose a planet
over an orbital position any cycle. Their target is to maximize my
chance for survival and be rescued within a few cycles. The original
ship had state of the art emergency shuttles. After the attack we
switched back to the Gudea and it’s far older systems. It should have
worked. It did work. I killed them.
“You are in shock. I will sedate you until we reach planetary surface. Please relax.”
Everything becomes numb. I feel like placed in goo, both in space and
time. I have no capacity for emotions any more. I just sit here in this
shuttle, hurrying down towards the surface. Behind me, the Gudea has
turned into a cloud of debris.
In my head, I am speaking normally. For Dade, it must be slurred and
slow.
“What about that groan, that noise just before the bubble collapsed? I
know I heard it.” It was impossible.
“My sensors have observed an unknown pressure outside the bubble, though fallacy margins are large because of my short measuring time and insufficient capacity. The Gudea and Anu should have more data. The rescue team will be able to look deeper into it.”
“I must do something. I am the reason we are here.”
“Highly unlikely. You are in a state of shock trying to make irrational sense of the situation. Please relax until we reach the surface.”
The world becomes more numb. Dade has increased the sedatives. Like any
good Breeder, it takes care of its foaling, until someone else takes
over. Nona. I am so sorry Nona. The sedatives let me fall asleep while
we hurry down to the surface.
Chapter 2
1.3c on surface
Atmosphere nominal.
Atmosphere suitable for breathing.
Atmospheric contamination with life high.
Water scan 86.5% success within 1sl.
Survival state psyche traumatized.
Survival state health nominal.
Survival state physically nominal.
Survival state social abnormal.
Hostifle fauna scan nominal.
Hostile flora scan negative preliminary.
Switched survival profile to standard.
Energy scan 13.5% success within 1sl.
Energy scan 51.3% success within 100sl.
Initiate trauma recovery routine.
Updated target dashboard
12144 AIG 9H1, 0V 0H0
Remaining energy: 343cy
Remaining food: 60.1cy
Emergency shelter position: non-ideal
Emotional limiters applied.It is strangely quiet. A purple shine reaches through my lids and onto
the optical receptors. I slightly open my lids. I am in a coffin with a
small window next to my head. Outside is a blue sky and purple flora. I
have never seen so much purple. Everything is blurry and moves slowly. I
have been in this coffin before. Pluto took care that I faint at least
once in one of these under high acceleration. I know how it feels to
awake from that. Still, I feel numb. The sedatives are still working.
This coffin brought me back to live.
“Welcome to VRT3142. We have touched surface 14.3c ago. No hostile flora or fauna detected so far. The surroundings, atmosphere, and radiation is suitable for Marduk. I advise you to keep a breathing kit on at all times and stay close to any of my drones.”
I groan. My body feels like someone beat me all over with a flat paw. It
slowly dawns on me, where I am.
And that everyone else is dead.
“Dade, what is our general situation?”
“I assess our situation to be a default rescue operation, with a slight delay. So far we have no hyperspace connection. I expect a connection soon, though. Everything is suitable to go ahead with the default rescue preparations.”
“That means we find a suitable shelter first.”
“Correct. My shuttle is equipped with everything to keep you alive for ten standard cycles, enough to find a suitable shelter or go into emergency coma. We need a suitable shelter position, food, and energy source. VRT3142 shows sufficient resources.”
I start to shift in place, looking for the breathing kit. It is placed
right next to the opening mechanism for the shuttle exit door. My
entrance on the Gudea was sealed as soon as I was inside the shuttle.
The exit is sealed as well, but more suitable for me to get out of the
shuttle. As soon as it is open, the shuttle will not be airtight any
more. It is just a second class shuttle. It is nothing like the
equipment we had on the Apollon. Nevertheless, I am alive and safe for
now. On a planet like this some big carnivore will come checking me out
sooner or later.
The shuttle is not big, a cylindrical capsule of two body lengths in
diameter. Packed in there are a nuclear energy generator, emergency tent
and ratios, 3D printers for longer emergency situations and all sorts of
trinkets and devices.
“What are the chances of finding energy sources?” Energy is the critical
issue in 90% of the emergency situations. We can make food and fuel from
dirt and dung, but need power for that.
“Chances are good. I chose the equatorial continent because it showed the best combination and variety of biomes suitable for survival. There are multiple sources of high radiation within reach of our first tier rovers.”
I strap on the breathing kit.
“Prepare for door opening. Expect a change in temperature of about 5 degree.”
My coffin opens and light floods my optical receptors. The gravity is
acceptable, a little more than usual. It takes a few claps before I can
get out of the seat, arranging my legs feels difficult right now. I
basically fall out of the shuttle. The emergency tether lets me slowly
to my knees.
“Thanks Dade.”
“Always happy to help. The sedatives will keep working for the next 500c. Right now, you feel tired from the last strikes.”
“Tired is not the word I would use.” I breathe heavily. Except for the
jelly like structure, the breathing kit feels like it is not there at
all. And even better, I can move water and food through the mask.
Everything going in is sterilized while going through the thin jelly.
With it on, I can drink any water and breath almost any air.
The last strikes come back to me and I throw up. After a while, I get
back up again.
“How long would a rescue operation take, at most?”
“I have not identified our location yet. Currently, my limited resources are focused on ensuring your survival and a successful rescue operation. It can take between 9 and 160 standard cycles until a rescue team reaches us.”
“160 cycles? Aleph’s ass. I have never been alone for more than a cycle
or two.”
“Do not worry. Next to your standard training in emotional, physical and mental health care, I can provide you with more in depth emergency support.”
I am shaken again by a memory.
“Do you know the Rite of Sorrow?”
“The Rite of Sorrow indicates the passage of a Heart Child into the Vettro caste. It includes graphic depictions of violence, trauma, and loss. It is one of the duties Vettros have to perform in order to be given the privilege of research grants.”
Of course, Dade, knows about all the rites. Nevertheless, I am a Marduk
and my psychic hygiene requires talking to others. Next to regular
interaction in leisure, breeding exercise, physical exercise and
non-breeding intimacy. Interaction with my Heart Family and my crew.
Dade can help me much, but xe cannot bring them back. Lope hurts the
most. The view of xyr being torn to atoms by the collapsing bubble hits
me again. Lope, I am so sorry. I should have never insisted.
A few tears come, then a lot and then the sobbing starts. They were my
colleagues, my friends, something like a Heart Family. Right now, there
is nothing rational I can do about my loss and grief. Just find another
shoulder to cry on. My sobbing becomes stronger. There may not be
another shoulder for very long.
“The preliminary shelter is set up completely and ready for you.”
I look up, still feeling the wet tears on my fur. I blink the last ones
away. Above me, a weather balloon rises and a first fleet of drones is
setting up a perimeter. Dade seems to be functioning alright.
“Can I help you somehow?”
“It is best you rest and eat for now. Though the Imperial Decrees enable you to do all current tasks just as well, I advise you to find emotional stability and energy, until further notice.”
“Then I guess I have to thank both you and Emperox Ninurta.”
“Indeed. Ratios have been prepared in your preliminary shelter.”
I should conserve my strength and get back to a nominal emotional state
soon. The food is alright, standard imperial emergency ratios with a few
pills. Sleeping pills, probably. They are not suppressing my emotional
response, just limiting them. I feel the grief and loss, while I eat and
drink. My thoughts are with my crew.
My journal duty feels easy for most of the last cycle. Standard
operation, standard observations, standard behaviour of the strange
mass. Standard in a ‘we are travelling insane distances at so far
unheard velocity’ way in a makeshift second choice ship. I still
remember most of the numbers we had when the strange matter ground us
into destruction. But then it gets more complicated. I start writing
Lope’s name, thinking about my crew and how they died. My underarm
lights up. Dade sent me a message, assumingly so xyrs voice does not
distract me.
“I suggest you to skip this triggering part for now. We will review this later. Please continue from the point in time that you stepped into the shelter.”
In a few cycles xe will remember me to update my journal accordingly,
and it should be easier for me than, even without the emotional
limiters. I finish my journal. I am looking forward to my family, to
Zyra’s embrace and Leto’s laughter. I could really use a hug from my
Heart Family right now. I lie down and try to fall asleep. Dade seems to
have made the shelter especially dark and quiet, maybe xe also added
some nice scents reminding me of home. Those emergency shuttle Bots do
that. All just to make you feel safe and comfortable.
Even when considering all the sedatives, emotional limiters and training
for this flight, I remain amazingly calm and proactive. There are a few
persons to thank for. Though of course, back then, I was far from
grateful to them. I hated them, especially Nona.
Chapter 3
12128 AIG 3H12
Find pretty rocks for UlricI clumsily pick up rocks from the asteroids surface. I wonder why I
cannot grab them well.
Is it because I do it for the first time? Because of the zero gravity?
Or because this asteroid has a mostly powder-like surface and these
gloves are larger than my head, obviously not made for grabbing? To
prove my point, I try to grab a rock, the rock receives momentum from my
glove and drifts away, out of my reach. Again. I shake my head. This is
going to take a while.
I am in an EVA suits on some asteroid near Kish 19b. I am on the
asteroid, while Cassi is piloting our small shuttle. It’s a cheap suit,
nothing works autonomously. The suit is enough to learn and do my little
errand. We need rocks for our little garden and Ulric loves it, when we
get original rock, not just some artificial thing from the shop. As if
xe could tell the difference.
Cassi was happy to do Ulric the favour and asked me to help xe. There is
no arguing with Cassi, I tried that in the past, it does not work. A
Pioneer gets what they want from their Heart Family. It is our duty in
exchange for their service. Anyway, after everybody’s morning exercise
xe took me to the local rent dock.
“I need a cheap shuttle, just two spaces for a short ride to the inner
asteroid belt.” Xe demanded from the bot.
The bot showed us a few shuttles available this cycle.
“Cassi, those shuttles are really simple. Like, bare metal only. Look,
even the EVA suits are simple. This one reads ‘only for emergency
evacuation’,“ I pointed out.
“Perfect, we take that one.”
I was speechless. All my EVA’s with Ulric so far had been in normal
shuttles. I never used anything even remotely cheap and, to be honest,
bad like this one. I wondered if the Empire had cut Cassi’s allowance.
“Hop on Ur, this is going to be a simple ride. Just you and me, space,
and a bit of material in between.”
I looked at xe, unbelieving. Cassi was enjoying this ride already. I
felt … well … my feelings were mixed. I trust Cassi and xyrs judgement.
Cassi got first into the shuttle, already warming up the engines. I
followed and strapped myself into the shuttle.
“Why are we not using a standard shuttle instead of this piece of junk?”
“Ur, if you knew how many ships I have both flown and tried to get
outside while being shot at, you would be grateful for this quiet ride.
The ship is absolutely safe, we are always within rescue distance from
the station and unless a comet comes out of hyperspace and hits us, we
are going to be alright.” Xe turns towards the control panel, then back
to me.
“Comets do not come out of hyperspace. Every ship in any imperial dock
up for rent is tested, well maintained and safe to use. Remember that.
Glory to the Empire.”
“Glory tot the Empire,” I mumble. I felt more relaxed. The Empire
provides for us. We do our duties and get privileges for it. We can have
whatever we want. Even rent spaceships. Nevertheless, I wondered.
“Are we low on allowance so that we have to save on this shuttle?”
We had already left the dock and were heading towards a group of smaller
asteroids. Cassi turned her optical receptors to me, starring me down.
“Ur. We are not low on allowance. There is nothing to be afraid, and you
are making this bigger, than it is. Think about it, would we be able to
rent a shuttle that is not suitable for continuous spaceflight including
emergency situations?”
I hesitated. “No, we would not.”
“Do you think I would put you in a dangerous situation just because of
allowance?”
That hurt. “No, of course you would not. You love me and I love you.”
“Good.”
In a brief flash of bravery I added. “And Nona would hunt you down if
anything happened to me because of you.”
Cassi twitched, looked at me and laughed. “Yes. She would. And probably
win.” She was lost in thought for a moment.
“I do have to admit, I took the cheap one to teach you a lesson.”
“Which lesson is that?”
“This shuttle is basically held together by pieces of fur and spit. It
has very limited navigation, propulsion, and life support systems. But
they are enough. Even its Bot is archaic at best.”
The Bot agreed, at least my underarm showed the Bot happily offering us
the limited help it could provide. It could not even speak.
Cassi continued. “We can not always rely on having all the best
machines, ships, and Bots with us. Sometimes, we have to work machines
with our bare paws, fly a ship with minimum means, perhaps even without
electricity. You are a Heart Child, you will not go to the war. But I
want you to at least be able to survive in such a ship. As a future
Vettro you might need to get to another station for research quickly and
without much luxury.”
I looked around. My EVA suit had no remote communication or external
propulsion system. All there was, was a long tether used as connector
and communication line. The life support system was sufficient for 5000c
only. I could always be pulled back into the shuttle by the tether.
Around me in the shuttle, I saw simple systems, a hyperradio for
communications and actual levers to steer the drive if needed. This must
be how our ancestors flew.
“Do you remember the Imperial Decree by Emperox Ninurta?”
“The one about Bot and Marduk being like equals?”
Cassi chuckles. “Yes, but not quite. It says ‘Every task shall be doable by Bot and by Marduk, though both may help each other.’” I had
the unsure feeling there was something missing from this Decree. Cassi
was already continuing.
“This shuttle is an example of this Decree. We can fly it without the
Bots and tools we use in all better ships. In the Pioneers, all of us
are trained on these systems, even the Bots themselves. And you are
lucky, to at least be able to sit in one and learn it the easy way.”
Cassi checked our position. “We are getting close to our target. You are
taking over the approach.” And with that, xe handed over the navigation
to my console.
I felt a rush of blood into my brain, both from excitement and from
fear. Cassi and the Bot helped me, but both did not act on the controls.
It was all me. I never did this before.
“Alright, bring us closer to that one. It seems to have enough rocky
substance. Take care of the orbit of those smaller pieces around it.”
I slowly etched us in between the asteroid and its orbiting rocks. Here,
Cassi gave me terse instructions, nothing short of moving my paws
xyrself.
“Now, let us get you on that asteroid and see if you can find a nice
rock. I will stay in the shuttle.”
I panicked. “You mean, I will go out alone?” My optical receptors got
big just thinking about being all alone out there.
“Of course. If anything happens I can pick you up quickly with the
shuttle or my own EVA suit.” Xe pauses. “If we did it the other way
around, would you be able to help me with the shuttle?”
With a defeating gesture I made my way to the airlock, carefully
attaching my tether inside it. The control panel above the connector
lighted up in blue. When the inner hatch closed, I continued to hear
Cassi over the speakers in my helmet.
“Tether connection is alright. I turned the shuttle so your exit points
directly to the surface of the asteroid. Unless you do bizarre
gymnastics, you will land on the surface. Use your distance laser, so I
can stop the tether when you are close to the surface.”
The outer hatch opened. In the shuttle’s light I could see the surface
of the asteroid, merely twelve body lengths away from me. I carefully
and slowly pushed myself out the airlock. The distance laser was
connected to my arm, so I held it in front of me while slowly moving
towards the surface. The surrounding darkness was breathtaking. Like the
time Ulric and I went to the grave asteroid watching Kish’s rise.
“And there you are,“ I heard Cassi’s voice crackle through the speakers.
This kind of old fashion communication was new to me. It sounded like xe
was speaking into one of the metal planting chambers I was using with
Ulric. Most of all, it sounded like she was far away from me. If I could
turn around, I would see xe just a few body lengths away, but that would
send me into a rotation or throw up dust. And that dust would stop me
from seeing anything on this powdery asteroid. I carefully move around,
slowly making my way from one rocky extrusion to the next.
The surface is mostly molten rocks partially covered in a layer of
powder. Some of those powder layers are body lengths thick. If I move
into those layers, Cassi will have to pull me out again. I would be lost
on my own.
I find a few rocks that look suitable, but nothing really catches my
eyes. Ulric had said: “Find me something nice, with different
colours.”
“Cassi, I found some rocks. Could you mark their position for me? I want
to look a bit further if there are nicer rocks around.”
“Alright. Keep your remaining life support time in view, though.”
I nearly forgot about that.
“I have about 1400c left. I am still good.”
I continue my search. The speakers crackle again a while later.
“Hey Ur, I got a call from Nona, I will hang up on you for a moment. You
are doing well.”
I hear a crack and the line goes quiet. These moments of complete
quietness are my favourite. Its breathtaking, the immense size and
emptiness of the surrounding galaxy.
I see a rock, it has some green and purple threads going through it,
like somebody stacked plant leaves and flowers on each other, with brown
soil in between. Perfect for Ulric. I carefully move over to the rock
and grab it. My motion is stopped by something. I look to my right side
and see the tether coiling itself around my right arm. I probably moved
too far to the side and now the momentum makes the tether pass by me. I
wiggle to get the tether of my paw. Of course, it coils even more around
the arm. I did not know I had so much line – until I look behind me. The
end of the tether dangles a few body lengths behind me.
“Cassi, the tether, it ripped off!”
No response. Of course, Cassi cannot hear me. All communication goes
through the tether. My rescue line is gone, and I have only 394c of life
support left. This EVA suit is so cheap, I do not even have a jetpack. I
have nothing.
I think about waving my arms, but that would a) make me rotate in zero
gravity, b) make the tether coil around me even more and in worst case
c) push me away from the asteroid some direction away from the
shuttle.
Aleph’s Ass. I need to stay calm. 320c. Cassi should see me soon. Why
did she even have to take that call? Nona could have called later. I
start to panic, but remain still. My breathing gets faster. Not good for
life support.
290c. I place the rock in a bag attached to my suit.
Still no reaction from the shuttle. I still have time. Cassi will see
me. Xe knows how much time I have left. She will see me and rescue me.
Otherwise, Nona will come for xyr. I hope. I think. I start to panic.
200c.
What if Cassi does not see me? I cannot just sit around waiting for my
air to go out. I must do something. But what?
180c.
I go through my options.
Stay here and be rescued by Cassi. Good.
Stay here and not be rescued by Cassi. Dead.
Jump towards the shuttle and catch anything I can hold on to. Good.
Jump towards the shuttle, hit it and fly off. But Cassi will hear my
impact and rescue me. Good.
Jump towards the shuttle, miss it and fly off. Dead.
My breathing gets faster, the panic is growing. Cassi, please, look out
the Aleph’s ass window!
150c.
My rising panic causes me to get a slight rotation. I grab onto a rocky
spire and slow myself down. It takes a lot of effort, all my body needs
to be stopped from moving.
120c.
My breathing is far too fast. I need to stay calm. Breath slowly, and do
something.
110c. Ass ass ass! I am going to die. Ass, I need to stay calm. Breath,
I need to breathe. This has been too long. I cannot wait any more.
Focus. Breathe. I breathe in.
Focus. Breathe. I breathe out.
Focus. Breathe. I breathe in.
100c.
I slowly push myself of the asteroid, towards my shuttle, my place of
rescue. Very slowly, a fraction of a body length per second.
90c.
I get closer to the shuttle. It is going to be a close call.
80c.
I am nearly there. If I stretch my arm, I can grab one of the rails
alongside the shuttle. I make myself as big as possible.
70c.
I grab the rail … and fail. The glove touches the shuttle and pushes me
away from the shuttle before I get the rail. I receive some momentum and
start to rotate. I pass the shuttle and loose all blood to my face.
There is no more panic, I am filled with horror. The glove only softly
touched the shuttle. There was no clunk. No big noise for Cassi to hear.
I am going to die.
65c.
Cassi. Please look out the window. I cannot see much through my tears.
There is nothing I can do any more. I never had the chance to return my
duty to the Empire for the privileges it gave me as a Heart Child.
60c.
This is it. An uncanny silence washes over me. No need to breathe air
too fast. The shuttle is about two body lengths away from me.
50c.
The shuttle is still roughly two body lengths away from me. I press my
face against the suit’s visor to see better. The tether is tense.
Actually, I get closer and closer to the shuttle.
40c.
One body length. Please, Cassi, I know you grabbed my tether. Oh, thank
you so much.
30c.
Something grabs me from behind and pulls me into the airlock. A moment
later we are under pressure. My visor opens.
24c. Life system paused.
“I got you.”
Falling into Cassi’s arms, I cry a lot. Xe has apparently grabbed my
tether and pulled me inside, back to safety.
“Oh, thank you, Cassi. I was dead, I was so dead.”
Xe ruffles my hair and shavings. “No, you were never dead. I was there,
as promised. Otherwise, remember, Nona would have got me.” Xe winks at
me, though I do not see much through the tears.
We get back to station, I am mostly shivering, crying, but also full of
joy. Cassi is soothing me, speaking softly at me. Soon after we reach
home I am sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded by Cassi, Ulric and
Nona. The other foaling are playing in the side room.
“I found this rock for you Ulric, see the green layers here. They look
like very flat plants.”
Xe takes it carefully, slowly rotating and inspecting it.
“What a beautiful specimen, Ur. I know, you took great risks for it.”
Xyrs calm eyes are upon me, while xe places the rock on the table. I
struggle a bit to find my words.
“The tether got loose. I … I was dead. But Cassi saved me.”
Xe replies with a soft smile, “You were very brave back there. You
fought for yourself.”
However, Nona’s eyes are fixed on me. Like xe is preparing to catch
me.
Xe starts. “Ur. You were very brave indeed, this cycle. And now I need
you to be even braver.” A short pause. “Cassi cut the tether on my
behalf.”
“What?!”
I have no more words. I simply stare at Nona. Nona, my Breeder, the one
person in the galaxy loving me the most. Sending me to death.
“Why? I was dead back there.” My cries turn into sobs.
“Why would you do that to me? I hate you!”
I want to get up, but Ulric stops me. Xe is a Vettro, like I will be,
but far larger than Cassi. Xyrs calm nature is far more commanding than
Cassi’s muscles.
“What? What are you doing?”
“Ur. We have asked a lot of you this cycle.” Again, it is Nona who talks
to me. “You know about my sickness. I am stuck in this body, left to the
whims of my nervous systems. But even under all this meaningless pain,
it is my duty to stay calm, to not panic. I have personally asked Cassi
to cut the tether.”
My voice is brittle, almost faint. “Why? Why would you do that?” This
time, Ulric speaks up.
“Soon, you will face the Rite of Sorrow. Our rites are hard, often
outright brutal. But they serve a purpose. In the Rite of Sorrow, you
will die. But there, in those memories, you have no choice, you can do
nothing. This cycle, you did something. We prepared everything so that
even in the worst case, you would have survived.”
Cassi continues. “Your EVA suit was rigged, the timer was set short of
500c. A friend of mine was on the other side of the asteroid waiting
with another shuttle. I was already in the airlock in my EVA suit, when
I removed your tether.”
“But you were talking with Nona.” My mind is racing and void at the same
time. How could they?
“Yes, my dear Ur. I was. Because if it had been up to me, I would have
helped you far earlier. I am a Pioneer, it is my duty to die for others,
to rescue others, to fight for the Glory of the Empire.”
Ulric nods softly. “You will be a Vettro. Your duty and your privilege
will be knowledge. While Cassi fights with her body, we fight with our
minds. And as you will learn, the pain of knowledge can be even worse
than most of us believe death to be.”
Nona gets into one of xyrs coughing fits, before xe speaks.
“Ur. It is alright if you hate us. It is alright if you hate only me. I
asked both Cassi and Ulric to help me teach you. I have given birth to
you, and you may be my only foal living much longer than adulthood. I
have passed the Rite of Reunion and know how many of my other foaling
are crippled from that never ending war with the Alephians or are
longing for a better way of living. I love you. I love you more, than
you will probably ever understand. It is my duty to teach you to live
well in this world. We have everything, whole galaxies at our disposal.
And we might lose everything to the Alephians. You are still a child.
And to me, you will always be my beloved child. At the same time, I see
greatness in you. You stayed very calm this cycle. You were careful,
only negligent of minor fallacies. Not only that, you were great, my
beloved Ur. And you will be in the future. Every single clap this cycle
was like a death to me. Yet I know that one cycle, you will benefit from
this lesson. The lesson of remaining calm in times of stress, in times
of great risk, when even your live or the lives of your loved ones are
at stake. It is easy for you to hate me. You have all the right in the
galaxies. But I know that you can find your own conclusion to what
happened this cycle. If anyone of us had doubted your chance of survival
at any moment we would have been there for you.”
Ulric and Cassi nod. I am dizzy.
“Nona. I …”
I faint.
Chapter 4
12144 AIG 9H1, 0V 0H1.
Remaining energy: 342.5 standard cycles
Remaining food: 59.6 standard cycles
Emergency shelter position: non-idealI had finished my writings half a strike ago and was now doing my
morning exercises. The first voice I heard this cycle was Dade’s.
“This spaceflight sounds like a painful moment in your life.”
“Are you reading my journal already?”
“My obligation as an emergency Bot is to take care of all your needs until the rescue operation reaches us. So, yes, I do read your journal.”
Sigh. “Yes, it was hard. It took me a while to get back on my hoofs. At
first, I did not talk to Nona at all. Xe showed me love and took care of
me, like nothing happened. Xe was there, like always even though I spoke
not a single word to xyr. Then, I said a few words. After that came more
and in the end I just poured my heart out. We talked a lot. My own Heart
Family brought me to near death. Not because they stuck to an Imperial
decree or test my inner strength. They did it, because they were certain
I would prevail. They believed in me and pushed me into this experience.
They saw my potential in resolving dire situations and ultimately, one
cycle, conquer myself.”
“You are aware that raising a Heart Child in the Empire requires the Heart Family to prepare xe for individual and often hard decisions, to enable the Child to find commitment and conviction. The different rites are all about commitment and conviction.”
Now Dade sounds like my teacherox. “Yes. After a while I talked with a
friend of mine, actually a child of a Free One. Xe was put through a
similar trial. I asked others and more and more about this surfaced.
Finally, we asked our teacherox. Our education is meant to enable us to
experience both the beauty and the painful parts of life. As Heart
Children, we are blessed in comparison to the Tame or Wild Ones.”
“Yes. You are.”
I look bewildered at Dade. Why is xe acknowledging this. I laugh.
“Tell me what makes you laugh.” Dade’s voice is cheerful again.
“On a certain level, I am grateful for this painful lessons. Now that I
am here, on this planet, stuck for half a stellar cycle alone with a
Bot. All there is for me, is to stay calm and find small steps forward.
That spaceflight back then prepared me a tiny bit for this journey here
on … What is the name of this planet anyway?”
“Currently it is designated as VRT3142.”
What a mouthful.
“I am not going to say that every time I talk about the planet. Mmm.”
My gaze goes out the window of my small shelter. All the flora is purple
and even some small fauna shows purple shines.
“How about Velvet?”
“Splendid. Velvet it is.”
“Dade. I seriously wonder, how I got here. What happened back there, in
supraspace? And why is this planet so … purple?”
“All these questions require further research. As a Vettro, you are more than suitable for this task. But first, we need to find a more suitable shelter position.”
“Right.” I finish my exercise and enjoy the feeling of my burning
muscles. “Let us get started.”
I head out through the hatch and into the early time of a Velvet cycle.
I smell life through my breathing mask.
Part 1 Ending
This is part 1 of this book. Please leave your thoughts at
robert@robertforpresent.de. Which sentence triggered you most? Which
paragraph did you love? What bored you?
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